January 7, 2020
It’s the New Year already WOW that came fast – now it’s time to set a WHOLE bunch of New Years’ resolutions that I know I’m not going to keep after the first week. Sometimes they will stick for the whole month of January but more times than not they dwindle to the wayside by mid-January.
Not this year baby, Fuck that shit I’m tired of spending all that time and energy and then end up beating myself up in the end. That’s productive and healthy. NOT!!
This year I’m doing something new I’m not setting goals I’m setting feelings/values on how do I want to feel or how do I value myself by making this choice.
I’m talking about core feelings or core values however you resonate.
How do you want to feel in the deepest part of your being?
What feelings make you come alive?
What feelings make you feel more aligned with your true self, and consequently closer to your higher belief, whether it be God, Universe, Source, the Divine (whatever is your thing)?
Mine are for January 2020: Confident, Genuine, Abundance, Empowered, TURNED ON!
Candace have you fallen and bumped your head??? NOPE! Just tired of the continuous rat race in my head and how I feel when I don’t accomplish something or the way I treat myself compared to how I treat myself when I accomplish it.
Let me explain, here’s a resolution I normally pick each and every year and 100% fall off the wagon by the end of January, workout 5 times a week.
We all want to have a certain HIGH when we accomplish a goal but if we aren’t clear on exactly how we really want to feel the excitement and determination tend to diminish because there is nothing to work towards. It’s easy to give up on something when there is no feeling attached to it. Make sense?!?! Excellent!
So for myself when I set my goal to workout 5 times a week well it’s easy to brush it off because I haven’t set how this will make me feel when I accomplish it. Now that I have my feelings/values when I decide to brush it off I can take a step back and look inwards and say ok by brushing this off how does this decision help me towards my end goal, the end way I want to feel.
I know everyone is thinking YUP that’s easier said than done, I have kids, work, husband, volunteering etc. etc. etc. etc. Of course, it’s not easy but this process isn’t about being easy it’s about doing the work for YOURSELF and making sure that YOU are the one that is being taken care of first and foremost.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you this is going to change your life within the first week NOPE it’s going to take time, patience, and work. But just remember YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!
OK so let’s get down to business here are a few questions and steps to help you discover your core feelings, core values.
In response to the following questions, list how you want to feel. After you answer the questions, notice the commonalities—your feelings/values are in the answers.
How do you want to feel within the category of…
1. livelihood and lifestyle?
2. body and wellness?
3. creativity and learning?
4. relationships and society?
5. essence and spirituality?
So tell me: how do you want to feel?
Here is a list of words that I went through and just said out loud and wrote down which ones felt right to me. This took me about 30 minutes to go through the list and when I was done I had 35, so then I went through the 35 words and said each out loud and just sat with them for a minute or so. I did this a few times until I had my list down to 10 words and then with those 10 words I wrote each out looked up the definition and wrote out the definition and then posted the list on my fridge where I could walk by for a couple of days and just see which ones are Nope and which are HELL YES! You want to have between 3 and 5 feelings/values. Remember these will change as you grow, I did my first list in September which those were: Fulfilled, Sexy, Accountable.
So are you ready to grab that coffee, glass of wine or whatever your preference is and start getting down to the nitty-gritty to find out how you REALLY want to feel?
- Turned ON