Feeling a bit vulnerable…

October 26, 2020by Candace Burkart0
😔 I wanted to share something VERY personal about myself…  😔

It’s my story, well part of my story, and why I’m so passionate about helping women get out of burn out so they can start taking care of themselves rather than putting themselves LAST on the priority list each and every day!

A couple of weeks ago in my Facebook group that helps busy women get out of burn out, I posted a quote that said “If you don’t take a day to relax, your body will pick the day for you!”  I also mentioned in this post that it wasn’t going to be the way you envisioned it either!
This brings me back to January 2013 when me, my husband Ryan, and son James were coming home from Cancun and as I was sitting on the plane I turned to say something to Ryan, and all of a sudden I had the WORST pain in my lower back, like paralyzing pain.  I tried to move and it just got worse, so I popped some pills and prayed for the pain to go away.  

Long story short the pain didn’t go away because I had severely herniated 3 discs in my lower back and 2 in my neck. I just got worse and worse to the point where I was off work, on the emergency back surgery list, and being told I would NEVER be able to run again, workout, bend over at the waist, in fact, I was being shown how to shave my legs in the shower so I wouldn’t bend at the waist.  PS it involved a FUCKING shower chair!

I kept thinking to myself WTF, seriously how could this be happening…   I’m a runner, I work out, we go to the chiro, for god sakes we eat healthy…  

All of these statements were true to a point…  The fact was I didn’t run like I used to when I was 20, maybe once or twice a month on my treadmill, and I didn’t work out as much as I was telling myself I was.  Yes, I was moving my body because my job at the time involved a TON of walking but the only time I would workout would be when I would look in the mirror or look at my naked body and be disgusted with what I saw. So I would VOW to myself that I would change my ways and start working out again but that would last only a couple of days.  And yes as a family in my mind we did eat healthy, like take out was subway because Hey it’s better than McDonald’s…  

There I was 38 years old and I felt my world was coming to an END!

For the next 6 months, I followed what my doctor ordered and I went to physio and chiro 3-5x a week, continued going to the doctor every week, and kept taking the pain killers despite being in a drug-induced haze all the time.  

Truthfully looking back at the time and money that was spent during that time makes me cringe.  But at the time I didn’t think I had any other option.  

I fell into a mild state of depression and felt frustrated and guilty all the time because my husband and son weren’t getting the best of me.  How could they, I was either at appointments or I was lying on the couch or in bed.  Seriously the look of disappointment in my son’s eye’s every time I had to say No I’m sorry bud I can’t make it to your school activities or soccer games broke my heart! 

I realized that shit needed to change, I knew there had to be a better way but I had no idea where to start.

I started becoming obsessed with finding a way to make the pain go away and get back to normal.  

But the problem was I wasn’t listening to my body, it was telling me in very subtle ways that I needed to start taking care of myself not just once in a while but each and every day.  I didn’t need to go back to normal I needed to create a new normal.  One that allowed me to shave my legs without a shower chair, be able to bend at the waist, and be able to move my body without limitation!

I started slowly by going for a walk every morning when I woke up.  I eventually built up and started doing a 30-minute workout before I went to work, and with that, I started understanding the concepts of eating healthy and feeding my body with nutrient-dense foods.

I started to notice not just the physical benefits of a stronger body, no aches, and pains but the emotional benefit that it was having on me with my family, friends, and co-workers.    

So I decided to become a fitness instructor and now I consider myself so fortunate to be able to do what I do and to help other amazing women make the same changes in their lives to start creating their new normal.

Now I still have severely herniated discs in my lower back and neck, those have not gone away.  But the difference is I now listen and honor what my body is saying.  

We only have one body for our whole life…
it’s not like a car, there are no trade-ins, and you can’t buy a new one no matter how much money you have.
So tell me ladies does any of this sound familiar?????  

Candace Burkart